


Take Me To Church

by Worldsgreatestnerd



Series: umbrella academy but it’s gayer [14]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, BOOK YOUR TICKET TO HELL NOW FOR DELTA ONE DIAMOND, Billy living his teenage dream, Diego in a priest outfit and Billy in his high school goth glory., Dom/sub, Light Bondage, M/M, OH LORD, Priest Kink, Spanking, blasphemy like so much of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 03:13:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19242658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worldsgreatestnerd/pseuds/Worldsgreatestnerd
Summary: Diego expected Billy to be dressed up, but Diego didn’t expect how fuckin’ hot he was going to be. He half expected him to look like a weirdly muscled Robert Smith, but no, Billy looked good, sinfully so.Billy’s grey-white eyes were lined in black kohl eyeliner, making them look wider. His bridge piercing changed from its regular little barbell to spikes. His lips a sultry red, looking soft and plush. Diego didn’t even know Billy had pierced ears but he did now because he wore long, dangling earrings of upside down crosses. Even his usually soft and wavy hair must’ve had some product in it to make it wild and messy.Billy wore black ripped jeans, a white cut up tank top and patch jacket, it looked well loved, old, covered in pins and various patches.(Or when Diego indulges Billy's priest kink for their 6th month anniversary.)





	Take Me To Church

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I’m so original with the title. Anyway here’s a fic to reprieve from all the angst of Don’t Be Gone. This takes place on their 6th month anniversary so this is before all of that is happening so don’t think y’all are in the clear.

Diego knew Billy liked to commit to things, all out all the time. Making them dinner? Full master chef. Halloween? Complete couples costume, Diego had no say in the matter. So why wouldn’t Billy commit to this? 

Billy told Diego about his high school experience, but didn’t show any photos. He just knew he was a tall gawky goth kid. Also that he had a crush on a priest fresh out of seminary during his senior year. 

Billy said he looked like young Jude Law and the summer after graduation he sucked his dick in the school. 

So, as a 6th month anniversary present, Diego ended up in a priest outfit and Billy was back in his full goth regalia. 

Diego expected Billy to be dressed up, but Diego didn’t expect ow fuckin’ hot he was going to be. He half expected him to look like a weirdly muscled Robert Smith, but no, Billy looked good, sinfully so. 

Billy’s grey-white eyes were lined in black kohl eyeliner, making them look wider. His bridge piercing changed from its regular little barbell to spikes. His lips a sultry red, looking soft and plush. Diego didn’t even know Billy had pierced ears but he did now because he wore long, dangling earrings of upside down crosses. Even his usually soft and wavy hair must’ve had some product in it to make it wild and messy. 

Billy wore black ripped jeans, a white cut up tank top and patch jacket, it looked well loved, old, covered in pins and various patches. 

Diego wasn’t religious, he learned about various religions yes, but only the surface level things. He knew what Billy was holding was a rosary. 

They were in Billy’s bedroom, the lights dimmed low. Diego had entered to see Billy sitting on the edge of the bed, legs swinging, looking bored, chewing gum and blowing bubbles. His eyes widened upon seeing Diego, then cast down to keep his act up. 

Diego stepped closer, towering over him as he looked down, an odd feeling as Diego was shorter than Billy by a great deal. 

Diego grabbed Billy’s jaw, fast and aggressive, bringing him eye to eye. 

“No chewing gum allowed, you know this.” Diego said. 

Billy’s lips curled into a smirk, tilting his head back further to open his mouth, offering the gum out on the tip of his tongue. 

“Spit it out.” Diego said, holding his other hand out in front of him. 

Billy’s eyes were already hazy with lust as he quickly spat out the bright pink gum, leaving a small string of spit between his hand and mouth. Diego threw it into the trash bin by the bed without breaking eye contact. 

“Sorry, Father.” Billy said, batting his eyelashes. 

Diego glared at him. 

“You don’t look sorry. Maybe four Hail Maryswill help.” He said, letting go of his face. 

Diego stepped away, Billy whined and leaned out for the touch. He sat petulantly for a moment before he got off the bed, skulking past Diego before kneeling in front of him, clutching his rosary. 

He looked up at him through thick black eyelashes, his lips curling as he began to recite the prayer. 

Diego didn’t exactly understand how the rosary worked, he just knew you counted Hail Marys on them. 

“Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,” he paused, adding an extra breathy flourish to _sinners_ “now and at the hour of our death, Amen.” Billy said, rubbing his thumb over one bead before moving to the next. His eyes were wide as he looked up at Diego. 

Billy repeated the prayer again, quietly this time, eyes still locked on Diego, shifting closer to him. 

Diego smiled, pulling back further until he was sitting on the bed as Billy was stuck on his knees across from him, glaring at him for being so far away. 

As he completed his third Hail Mary, Billy stood up, walking closer. 

“I thought I said four.” Diego chided, looking up at Billy. 

Like this Billy looked like a goddamn demon, tall and broad, looming over Diego. Billy wasn’t thick or bulky like Diego was, he still had his gymnast build, flexible like one too. 

Billy stood between Diego’s legs, like he had many times before, like he was going to fuck him. That’d be a turn of events Diego wasn’t planning for. 

Instead Billy sank to his knees again, those wide innocent eyes looking up at him again. 

“How could I forget? I’m so sorry, Father.” He said. “Let me complete them, I’ll be good.”

His tone was sweet but his eyes screamed of lust and danger. 

“Hail Mary, full of grace.” Billy began, resting his head on the inside of Diego’s thigh, nuzzling his cheek. “The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.” Billy clutched his rosary with one hand, the other reaching for Diego’s belt buckle.  
“Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,” He paused again, pulling the belt out of its loop with a satisfying sound, “Now and at the hour of our death, Amen.” He said, working at his zipper. 

He palmed over Diego’s half chub, already straining against his underwear. 

Billy stuck his soft pink tongue out of his painted mouth to lick obscenely along the outline of Diego’s cock. 

Diego grabbed at his hair. 

“Decker…” Diego warned, the name feeling foreign on his tongue. 

“Yes, Father Hargreeves?” Billy asked, pulling away, looking up at him as if he’d done absolutely nothing wrong. “Have I offended you? Do you need four more? I’m quite skilled with prayers on my tongue.” 

Billy leaned down and licked over his sensitive and leaking head, creating a wet spot in the fabric. 

Diego pulled him up by the hair, dragging him across his lap. 

Billy fought him just a little, but Diego pinned him down all the same by a tight grip on the back of his neck. 

“Insolent little brat,” Diego said, hoisting his hips up with his free hand. “I said four, not three and a break then one more.” 

Billy whined out, reaching for him but it was useless. 

“Please, Father Hargreeves, I’m so sorry.” He said, squirming on his lap, grinding down against his cock, still being a brat. 

He quickly struck hard across his ass, making Billy yelp and wriggle. 

“Four more, for the times you should’ve prayed consecutively. Count them, Decker.” Diego said, voice stern. 

Billy nodded vigorously, ducking his head into his arms. Diego pulled his head up by the collar of his patch jacket. 

“Use your words, you were good at it then.” He said. 

“Yes, Father.” Billy said. “Understood, Father.”

Diego rubbed his hand down his thighs, then began to work at his zipper, pulling his tight jeans down. 

Underneath was black lace panties. It made his breath catch, eyes linger, how the dark lace contrasted his creamy skin, and it made Diego so hard he ached. 

“These are stupid, whorish for a young man like you.” Diego chided. 

He spanked Billy hard after his comment, making Billy cry out, keeping him from a smart retort. 

“One.” Billy said. 

Diego pulled on the waistband of his lingerie, snapping it back at him, Billy gave a little whimper. 

Diego spanked him again, a breathy cry falling from Billy’s lips. 

“Two.” 

Diego smiled to himself, watching as Billy arched up into it. He rubbed his ass, looking at how red it was already. He had to remember to stay in the act, to keep himself from saying “fuck it” and fucking him here and now. 

“Even a whore has the decency not to wear this in front of a priest.” Diego said, voice low, letting it rumble in his chest for Billy to hear. “Do you know what a sin it is to try a seduce a priest? How many Hail Marys would you suggest for that?” 

“How ever many you’d want me to do, Father.” Billy said, Diego struck his left cheek, “ah! Th-three.”

“I don’t think I could give you enough. I think you’ll need to confess.” Diego said, gripping his red ass tight, soft and warm beneath his calloused hands. 

Diego gave him his final smack across his right cheek and Billy went limp across his lap. 

“Four.” Billy said, rasping and shaky breaths. 

He was hard against his leg, a wet spot forming in his lingerie. 

Diego ran his hand up and down his thigh, shushing him wordlessly. 

“Are you ready to confess?” Diego purred, Billy melting into his touch. 

Billy nodded, looking bashful as Diego pulled him onto his lap, looking at him. 

Billy’s lipstick had smudged just the smallest amount, Diego reached out and swiped it off with his thumb, Billy stood still. 

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been so very long since my last confession.” Billy said, readjusting his legs so he sat astride Diego’s lap. 

“How come?” Diego asked. 

Billy has explained the things he’d say to Diego and Diego’s standard responses. But it was hard to focus as Billy looked at him like this, lust hooded eyes, his pupils blown wide. 

“I fear the things I’ll say, don’t want to embarrass myself or put you through such things.” Billy said, looking to the ground, biting his lip like he had shame. 

“It’s okay, I’ve heard a lot.” Diego said, pulling Billy flush to his chest by the small of his back. 

Billy’s eyes got that wild glint in them. 

“I’m overcome by lust. Not just any kind, the kind that consumes because I can never act on it.” He said, eyes going up and down Diego. “I lust for a man of the cloth, Father. My lust for him over takes me, at night I wake up sticky with sweat, thinking about him...thinking about you.”

“Decker,” Diego warned, grabbing his sore ass. 

“I fuck myself on my fingers and I imagine it’s you. I also take the lord’s name in vain while I do it, I beg for you while I blasphemy.” He said, rolling his hips. 

Billy dipped his head, latching onto Diego’s neck, sucking a deep purple bruise near his pulse point. Diego’s eyes fluttered shut, letting out a small groan. 

His hands gripped tight in Billy’s hair as he dragged him away. 

“Decker,” Diego said, taking the same time he took with criminals. 

Billy just smiled. 

“Yes, Father?” He asked, slipping his hand between them, thumb tracing the head of Diego aching cock. “I dream about getting on my knees and sucking your cock. I wanna swallow your cum like it’s communion wine.” 

Diego snorted. Billy blushed and looked away, smiling at it too, laughing just a bit. 

“Too cheesy?” Billy asked. 

“Eh, maybe.” Diego said, “kinda stupid, maybe that’s just you.” 

Billy scoffed and shoved him back onto the bed, making Diego laugh as he did. 

“You’re stupid.” Billy said. 

Diego laughed and passed a hand through his hair. 

“You’re a baby.” Diego said. 

“C’mon, keep up the act, Father, jeez.” Billy said, crawling up to straddle his waist again. 

“You’re really into it, huh?” Diego said, raising his eyebrows as Billy sunk back down again, working on getting Diego’s pants off. 

Billy looked at him for a moment before dipping down and yanking his boxers off. He looked back up at him with lust blown eyes, licking a long, wet stripe up his aching cock. 

“Alright, alright, damn…” Diego said, gripping his hair. 

Billy glared at him as he began stroking his hard cock, giving kitten licks across the slick head, innocent and timid looking. 

“You’re a damn filthy sinner, Decker.” He said. 

Billy gave him a wink before swallowing him down. Billy flicked his tongue this way and that, his tongue piercing dragging along the skin. Diego let out a sigh as he arched into him. 

Diego ran a hand through Billy’s hair. 

“It’s a shame you’re good at this, means you’ve been running around, huh, Decker?” He asked, pulling his hair. 

Billy whined around his cock, sending vibrations down, Diego’s eyes rolling back just a bit. 

“You could’ve tried to repent, but no, here you are, on your knees.” Diego said, taking a sharp inhale between his teeth when Billy hollowed his cheeks. 

Diego closed his eyes, rolling his hips lightly to set a rhythm that Billy gladly took. Wet and obscene sounds fell out, but Diego didn’t care. He let out a low, rumbling moan, mouth hanging open as he gasped for breath, the rest of the sounds stuck in his throat, unable to snake out. 

Diego recognized vaguely the sound of Billy shucking his jacket to have more mobility. 

Billy tongued just beneath his head, stroking whatever was outside of his mouth, licking away the small pears of precum dribbling out. A knot began to tighten in Diego’s stomach, his toes curling, his body torn between wanting to inch away or rush forward. 

He kissed down Diego’s shaft, leaving little lipstick stains which shouldn’t have been so hot. 

“Ask for more,” Billy said, eyes dark and wild. 

Diego narrowed his eyes. 

“Excuse me?” He asked, propping up on his elbows. 

“I told you, ask for more. I wanna hear my priest beg, like you’re praying. Pray to me.” Billy said, his smile wicked. “You’ve felt what I can do. Is your false sense of superiority better than this?” 

Billy began to jerk him off slowly, spitting for extra lube, then his tongue darting out to lick across the over sensitive head. 

“This is here and now, Father. Don’t you want more?” He asked, batting his eyelashes. 

Diego was now convinced Billy could break any priest. 

But luckily, Diego wasn’t a priest. 

Diego leaned grabbed him by the nape, dragging him upwards. He quickly switched their positions, Billy now first on the bed, his ass sticking up already. 

“I’d never, especially not for a brat like you.” Diego said. 

Diego switched his grip so he could reach the drawer by the bed, grabbing a bottle of lube and a small bundle of rope. 

“You will. Fuck me and see, you’ll know your an idiot for waiting this long.” Billy hissed, struggling against him. 

The struggle was all for show, they had discussed this as well. 

Diego made quick work of tying his hands up, he could feel Billy thrumming with excitement beneath him. 

Once Diego was satisfied with the knot he had tied, he sat back, leaving Billy prone and alone, hands tied behind his back as his face was pressed into the pillow. 

Diego worked on getting the bottom half of him undressed as Billy grumbled more. Eventually Diego was done and he sat on Billy’s heels, watching him squirm and writhe but get nowhere. 

“These are too nice for a slut like you.” Diego said, snapping the elastic of Billy’s panties. 

“How would you know, Father?” Billy asked, wiggling his ass. “You know, ‘Father’ is so formal, how’s ‘Daddy’ sound to you?” 

Diego smacked his ass at that. Billy yelped and stuck his ass out further. He gave an over exaggerated sigh before pushing his panties down. 

He uncapped the lid to the lube with a satisfying “pop” and he watched as the goosebumps raised over Billy’s skin in excitement. 

Diego generously coated his fingers, rubbing them together for the lube to warm before he ghosted them over his crack. He dipped the tip of one finger into Billy, he inhaled sharply at it, then let it out to relax for more. 

Diego pushed in one finger all the way, Billy stirred and tried to push back against it for more but Diego held his hips steady with his other hand. 

“Fuck...your fingers are so thick, Christ.” Billy moaned out, barely muffled by a pillow. 

Diego didn’t acknowledge it, only pulling him back by the ratty white tank top which he now realized had plenty of rips and holes in it. 

“You ever wear these to church?” Diego asked, eyes lingering over how red his ass was even as it faded. 

“Why? Ever think about bending me over the alter- _aH!”_ Billy said, wiggling his ass only for it to be cut off when Diego curled a finger against his prostate. 

“What if I said yes?” Diego mused, pressing a second finger into him, purposefully missing his spot this time. “I bet you’d think about sucking my dick like you just did, I bet you’d even do it in front of the whole congregation, because you’re godless and shameless.”

Billy moaned, raising his hips up to Diego again, a plea. 

“I bet you’d let me do this too.” He said, scissoring his fingers. “I can see it now, you in your Sunday best because you know better than to wear these rags to church. You’d bend over and let me fuck you on the alter, or in the confession booth, or in a pew, wherever you’d spread your legs, but I think we’d be hard pressed to find that.” 

Billy whimpered and moaned, trying to get more friction to fuck himself on. Diego allowed it because he was so hard he could lose it and second now. 

“Yes, yes, Father, yes.” Billy said, trying to look back at him, Diego caught a glance and he looked perfectly destroyed. “Please, please fuck me.” 

Diego crooked his fingers, dragging against his spot, making him squirm and mewl. He stuffed a third finger into him, spreading them wide when he thrust in and together when he pulled out, stretching him quick. 

Billy was muffled by the pillow, moaning and gasping, rutting against his hand. 

Diego pulled his hand out without warning, Billy made a sound of protest into his pillow. 

“Diego…” Billy groaned. 

Diego smiled and raised his eyebrows, he was getting desperate enough to drop the act. Diego quickly undressed himself, watching Billy struggle around aimlessly. 

Well, not so aimlessly, he managed to flip himself over onto his back to watch Diego undress. 

“Oh, Father, is that a nipple ring?” He asked, smile wide. 

Diego rolled his eyes, shoving his underwear down, his hard dick bobbing free. 

_“Oh, Father,”_ he said, parting his lips like he was a thirsting man in need of water. “Maybe it’s a good thing you took the cloth, one look at you and you’d have to beat even nuns off with a stick.” 

Diego rolled his eyes, even more so, but Billy just laughed, wicked and gleeful. He grabbed the bottle of lube from the foot of the bed and poured some over himself, stroking it over himself too. He let out a soft, quiet groan as he did so, still sensitive and hard from when Billy blew him. 

“ _Pleaseeee, Diego,_ ” he whined, pulling his legs up all on his own. Fuck he was flexible. 

Diego walked over, crawling in between his muscled legs, hands sliding up his sides. He idly trailed one finger down his slick and weeping cock, over each little barbell. Then, he guided himself into Billy slowly. 

“ _Yes,_ ” he moaned, grinding back against him. 

In a quick, fluid movement, Diego flipped them over, so Billy was sat on his lap, fully seated on his dick suddenly and without warning. 

Billy threw his head back and yelped, shifting his hips to get comfortable only to fuck himself further on his dick. 

Diego smiled, pulling his hands away, resting them behind his head, watching with the same wicked smile Billy has been toting all night. 

“You wanted it, now it’s up to you.” Diego purred, leaning up to kiss along his throat. 

“Diego, fuck- no, please.” Billy said, wide eyed, squirming around, “I’ll be good, I can’t, I can’t do anything like this.” 

Diego stopped, resettling, he could feel the franticness in Billy’s voice. He wrapped his arms around Billy and pulled him close, steadying him. 

“Are you okay? What’s your color?” Diego asked, looking over his red face. 

Billy blinked at him. 

“Green, green green green.” Billy said nodding, his needy and frantic nature completely gone. 

Diego had to remind himself that Billy was a grown man, he was strong, capable, but a good actor apparently. 

“Okay, good, just, let me know if anything is heading south. Promise?” He asked, stroking over his cheek. 

Billy nodded. 

“Promise.” He said before quickly kissing the side of his mouth. 

Diego laid back down again, throwing Billy a bit off balance but he was able to catch it. Shakily he was able to push himself up just a little, small sounds coming out as he did so. 

Diego decided to take pity and grip his waist with one hand, helping him steady as he began to bounce just a little. Diego grunted, meeting him halfway too, throwing off his balance further.

“Diego,” he moaned. 

Diego smacked his ass for it, Billy made an obscene moan. 

“Sorry, Father.” He said, smirking, obviously not sorry. 

“That’s a Hail Mary,” Diego said, grabbing his ass. 

Without skipping a beat, Billy threw his head back and began to recite. 

“Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, aH-“ he said, head thrown back as he stopped to moan and Diego rolled his hips against his prostate. “Now- and-ah ah, at the hour of our death, Amen.”

“Good,” Diego praised, hand running up his side, under his tank top, then tweaking a nipple.

Billy moaned, wet and loud, his red lipstick smeared and mascara smudged just a little. His pierced cock bobbed in between them, smearing pre cum across both of them. 

“God...God, please.” Billy gasped, eyes screwed shut. 

“I never knew how easy it was to get you to pray,” Diego mused, snapping his hips up into him.

Billy sniffed trying to show off and fuck himself harder but instead he lost his balance, falling forward and Diego only guided him in his fall, not sitting his back up. 

Now he was completely pliant, arching his ass to keep himself full. Billy, always the champ, made the best of it, kissing over his chest, flicking his tongue over Diego’s pierced nipple. 

“Careful,” Diego warned, yanking on his hair. 

In response, Billy nipped his nipple, the continued to lick around it. Shithead. But Diego was close, he felt it in sore muscles and the way he found himself chasing each thrust faster and faster. 

“Let me cum,” Billy said, hoarse and desperate. “Please.” 

Diego thrust into him sharply, considering his plea. Billy continued to kiss down his chest, leaving little hickeys and spit slick spots, along with obscene wet sounds as his mouth moved over brown skin. 

Once Diego had made his decision he dragged him by the hair to look at him face to face. Those grey-white eyes were distant and hazy. 

“Fine, but I’m not touching you.” He said, giving an especially sharp thrust to make his point. 

In an instant Billy crushed their lips together in a frantic kiss, all teeth and tongue, licking into Diego’s mouth. He rolled his hips this way and that, trying to get friction on his trapped cock. 

Apparently, Billy had found a good rhythm for himself as he began to writhe back and forth in the same pattern, moaning and gasping into Diego’s mouth. 

Diego wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel good too. Between fucking him and Billy’s cock dragging and rubbing in between them, it was fucking hot. 

Billy came with a wail, shooting in between them, so much so some cum even hit Diego’s chin, coating their chests. Billy tightened around Diego like a vice when he came, milking Diego’s orgasm from him as well. 

“Billy,” Diego grunted. 

All of his muscles tensed and relaxed at once, his legs twitched as he came, bucking into Billy. 

Diego was never as loud as Billy when he topped, he always came with a few gasps and grunts. He arched into Billy, fucking through it, Billy all but helpless and happy to take it. 

“Holy shit.” Billy said, panting. “That was fuckin’ amazing.” 

Diego laughed, running his hands up and down his back, but said nothing, only nodding in agreement. 

Together, in the afterglow, they caught their breaths. Diego worked on the knot tying Billy’s hands together. 

Once his hands were free, Billy grabbed onto Diego’s face and pulled him into a kiss. 

The kiss was sweet, nothing deep but not chaste either. 

“Oh my God, Diego.” Billy said, his grin wide and goofy with excitement, “I love you so, so so so much.” 

Diego laughed again, pulling him into another kiss. 

“I love you too.” Diego said. “You really liked that huh?”

Billy looked at him incredulously. 

“Are you kidding? Holy shit, yeah, I did.” He said, kissing Diego’s cheek. “I owe you like, twenty million billion nights of whatever you want.” 

“Twenty million billion? I’ll hold you to that.” Diego asked, eyebrows raised. “But no, really, it’s our anniversary, I wanted to do this too.” 

“Happy anniversary, baby.” Billy said. “Now get me a towel.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! You made it! Welcome to hell! Also, everything I know about Catholicism comes from my sister’s boyfriend who’s an ex Catholic because I was raised Mormon until age 7 so like, even weirder shit there. 
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day!! 
> 
> Tumblr @trixies-allstar-crown


End file.
